I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
