He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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