my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
