He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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