i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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