I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
