Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
