that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
