i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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