You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
