are you still at the devil's house?
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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