can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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