Don't you send me to vm
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
