you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
