And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
