We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize