I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
