I've blown a few things in my day
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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