Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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