Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
