I'm lost and stupid without you.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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