4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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