i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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