Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
