Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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