She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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