I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
