My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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