12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
