the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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