his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
