The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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