Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
