Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"

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(507): View more from Minnesota

We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".

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(786): View more from Florida

i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)

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(443): View more from Maryland

There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.

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(410): View more from Maryland

There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me

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