She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
