I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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