Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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