if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
