we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
