is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
