I think I am morally bankrupt
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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