So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
