never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
