i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize