Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
