Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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