you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
