In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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