It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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