somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
